Now i know it's hard. you have to push the pedal and
sometimes even jostle the stick, but come on guys. can't
you all atleast not be a buncha fuckin'morons? could ya?
you know who you are. you know damn well. you're hte
overcautious, the stupid egoists, and the 500 yr. old lady
doing 35 in the fast lane of the interstate.
now if i had lasers i could zap you all and wouldnt' have
to write this but unfortunately those are illegal.....for
so here are some tips for you idiots on how to not get ME
killed, see i don't give two shits and a fuck about you
all. in fact i HOPE you do die. shit less endangerment
1.) don't be the overcautious - i'm working at a law firm
this summer and the lawyer told me that most of the people
that get in the car accidents he represents are those that
get behind the wheel and say "oh my god, oh my god, oh my
god". shut the fuck up. keep your eyes on the road.
buckle up. and SHUT THE FUCK UP. just drive. don't worry
bout everything cos you can't control everything. stay in
the god damned right lane and if you must turn into a left
lane then please wait until every competent driver has
passed you. don't wig out out there, just SHUT UP AND
2.) old people. come on guys who are we kidding? GET THE
FUCK OFF THE ROAD. if you can't tell the difference
between a mouse and a tractor trailer you shouldn't be on
the road. if you're liable to keel the fuck over at any
point in time then get the fuck off the road. if you are
likely to have your senile ass confuse the gas and brake
pedal (it happened here and caused a 7 car pile up) don't
step into a car. stay in your old peoples cage and eat
3.) you dumb fucks that have to make your testicles (or
vaginas) bigger by driving like assholes. you that don't
let people merge, who soup up foreign cars, and
practically any egotistical shithead. just stay infront
of the mirror and admire yourself, dont' get into a car.
4.) if you're asian. stay off the road. please. especially
if you're an asian woman. the cops actually have an
acronym d.w.o. (driving while oriental) they have it for a
reason. it's cos you all can't drive worth a shit.
5.) (a subcategory)
A.) bad enterers. those people that enter a highway/road
from a side road and look at you....wait till you are even
closer.....then pull the fuck out right in front of you.
asswipes. learn some depth perception.
B.) bad passers. you know those people that pass you like
a scared/obsequious animal? they kinda try up to your
side, see if it's safe, see if you approve then slowly
creep by. if you're gonna pass me, pick up your nuts and
move on, don't test around and see if i'll allow you to.
well that's about it for that. just remember. there are
two things in life a person will never admit to.
1.) that they don't have a sense of humor
2.) that they are bad drivers
they'll admit to being fat, ugly, stupid, dull, and
anything else but not that. give it a try
sometime...you'll see. and if you're reading this of
course this doesn't pertain to YOU cos you're an excellent
fucking driver......just like me :-).