cosmic ski slopes
2001-06-10 14:06:05 (UTC)

Attacked II

I passed my project with distinction, that's the best u can
do at Noble. I didn't find out til friday night though, it
was cool.

I'm so sad. Today is Graduation, I'm gonna miss a lot of my
friends. I guess it could be worse though, Emi's boyfriend
Jon is graduating, at least I'm only saying goodbye to
friends. It's not really THAT that's making me sad
though... it's the whole THAT'S ME AND MY FRIENDS NEXT
YEAR... I know I won't be able to handle that- saying
goodbye to the few things in life that do make me happy,
that keep me grounded. I'll be left behind with me and my
family. I won't last a month.

My attacks are gettnig worse. I had to take my meds the
other day. But the reaction was horrid... I won't take
another until I tlk to Dr. Chase myself. Mom has, but I
don't trust her in any of this.
I had another attack Friday night. When I was thinking
about saying goodbye to Sara. I'm not gonna be able to do
that.... it'll be too much to handle. Attacks are getting
more frequent too, but I won't take meds, I told my brother
that I'd rather do therapy... Get all the bad stuff outta
me, then I'll be better, he doesn't think so though,
doesn't think I have problems.... Oh well, No one does, so
what's new?

Everything's slipping away. I can feel my footing
failing... I can feel my feelings faltering... I can hear
my heart beating hatred.... I can leave my life long lost...

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