cryingcountrycowgirl

Lost and Searching
2002-05-21 14:32:18 (UTC)

NIghtmares are back again....

You would think that after everything I have been through
the last two days, there would be better things i could
dream about at night, right at the moment i am so
frustrated, cold, and have a headache, that doesn't want to
go away....In my dreams i am so freaking helpless, which is
something that i extremely hate and fine repulsive...The
need to control something is a big thing with me...Since I
can no longer control my life anymore, more like the dr.'s
are taking care of that, I find myself falling and
everytime i try to reach out for something to grab, its
taken away from me......having sex was something, a
decision, that i made on my own, no one else knows, and
something i can do again, again,




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