grumble911

Aways the Same Page
2002-05-21 02:41:01 (UTC)

continued: 5/20/02

I got up at 6:30 a.m. today to go with my best girlfriend
to the hopital today. She had to have surgery again for a
re-occuring problem. But things did work out where I was
able to be there for her. I told her earlier that moring,
that I was not able to do anything finacially, but I am
always there to do for her in other ways if I can. You
know I could see her go there by herself this morning. And
althought as loving as her mom is I knew that she would be
there too, but Tanya has been a true friend to me than any
other person that I would even consider to call a true
friend. And I must admit, I've learned a lot from her in
the last couple of years. I mean the way that she cares
for others, and the way that sheshows her feelings for
others has taught me an awful lot. But what I like best
about her is how she defends me. I mean she really goes to
bat when she see'e something that she doesn't like or when
I've had a bad turn in a relationship. Especially if she
knows the person. But I feel as though I will always owe
her no matter what. She saw how everything just went to
hell for me in a past relationship, and she promised that
she would not stand by and see it happen again. We both
have different strengths in areas of relationships where I
feel as through she might pick up on somethings a lot
better than I. It's like she's that other side of me that
needs to come out from hiding. She's the bite when I can't
seem to bark when I should. I'm sort of longwinded at
times. Maybe too longwinded. But she's always there when
I need her to be. I see a lot of me in here when I went
through a lot of emotions in my early twenties. I really
had no one that I could relate too. No one that would
really understand like she does. I think that it was meant
for us too meet somehow. But however we met I'm gratefull
to have her as a friend. I would give her my very last, no
questions asked.

Here it is almost June, and I still haven't found a job
yet. I cannot believe it's taken me this long. Am I
really getting old or what. I haven't heard from Maurice
yet either. We all went over Tanya's house for dinner on
Sunday. Had a nice time too. Fitz stopped by to get a
plate before he went over to the bar. He told me that he
saw the boldhead monkey out at the bar on saturday nite. I
miss that man. Even as stubborn and as aunery as he is I
still miss him. I guess I'll have to find some way to move
on. I can't go on like this. Apparently, he's duking
evrybody out like they done something to him, but that's
not true. I heard he did ask where was everybody, but he
still didn't bother to call or stop by. He knew where we
were. Is it the guilt that's starting to come out now. Or
is he just being nosey because he don't see any of us.

Well at least our saturday started off rather well. We went over to
Cactus Willies and ate til our hearts desire. I was so stuffed, I
couldn't move. I can't even remember the last time I ate like that.
But it was really nice, just Kia, Tanya and myself. Then we came
home to plan our festivities for sunday.




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