Twistedmindz

hmm,k why i wasnt around for awhile

hey. well heres the story and ill start from the begining
guy2(which is my bf),me,and this gurl (we can call
her,...ditz) decided to go on her boat out of boredom, guy2
went to go untie the boat and ditz accidently hit the gas
and guy2 fell foward into the water knocking him self out,
and when he went into the water i guess he busted the rim
of the deck cuz there was a board stuck in his ribs.
anyway he was in the hospital and still is for over a
month,he droped into a coma for 2weeks.:( god he scared the
liven shit out of me,anyway to get to other points i still
find it my fault he fell in a coma,if i were to get in the
water faster and not hesitate this never would been so
serious,im really the worlds most retarded beotch on
earth,then i have ppl telling me its not my fault and shit,
and that if it wasnt for me guy 2 would dead.
the only way ill really believe that is if i hear it from
guy2.and i know that if i dont,or atleast i feel as if i
dont,that it will be my fault.i dont know how much more
insantity i can take,for real! lets go on to another
subject but same topic,.....i called this guy who i have
been talking to online for awhile.wanna call him guy3?k
well we will either way. he lives ini think La(the state)
well anyway i went to call him because i felt like shit and
i was all in tears.and figured he could help calm me down
by talking.cuz it seems like every time either one of us
have a problem,were talking to eachother and he has this
way of calmin me down,that really no one else could its too
bad we cant hang out in real life,ok back to the point,sorry
well he wasnt home,and i got even more upset cuz no one
answered.then i called a day later once again no on
answered then that same day i tried callin around 8 once
again no one answered.at this point im getting really
frustrated and thinking he knows whos calling and that he
dont feel like dealing with me,so i stop callin for a few
days and try again and this woman which was probly his
mother answered.and said he was a sleep. then im
thinkin "bullshit,this woman has to be fucking with my
head," but i was ok with it all and said ok thanx,bye"
how nice of me.grrrr
well just last thursday was it? i got back online
and he was on too,and i tried to have a conversation with
him and he was just ignoring me and put his friend on the
comp,and of course being the nice person i am ,i talked to
him,waiting for guy three to get back,wanna know if he came
back? ok well ill tell ya when i feel like it,......heh
jk,no he didnt come back and then when he did it was hours
later, and again he pulled the same shit, gurl 1 told me
hes haven problems and shit so ill take that into
concideration. well today i was talking to him my sister
and shit load of other ppl.and didnt wanna i just wanted to
talk to guy3 and 1 but guy 1 wasnt around,oh look hes
online now,not like he would really im me,but i guess i
will when im done with this entry.this is my longest yet huh
and i was still confuzed about guy 3 so i kinda didnt talk
much.then my wonderful fucking sister had to talk to him
with out my permission, she got busted fast,i know guy3 and
my sister too well, but she helped out alot. the thing is i
need to start having more patients with ppl and to stop
always thinking the worst of them, i got this huge ass wall
up that i cant or wont knock down,its pretty much there
permintly(any one have a dicionary i can borrow?) well
anyway i need to work on my page im gonna make a new entry
either later on tonite or tommorow about my adventure in
harrisburgh,...sound interesting? well it aint! heh
byebye
love
amber