.my ramblings.
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2001-06-09 20:48:43 (UTC)

it's been a while...

...but i guess that's what i expected.
it's my day off today, and it feels so nice. except it's
not exactly as hot out today as i'd been hoping... wanted to
get a bit of sun before australia, and i don't really want
to fake'n'bake, although it's quickly becoming a greater
possiblitly what with no sun on my days off and all. i've
never really cared about this, but suddenly i want at least
a little bit of color. for the wedding would be nice too,
since i have to wear such a terrible color. but enough
i've been spending the day outside so far, reading. boy
meets girl, by joshua harris. it's pretty good. i don't
really agree with *all* of it, but overall it has a good
message. i mean, i totally agree with the whole dating
without a purpose thing. and i totally want to deepen my
relationship with God before i even begin to have a
relationship with someone else. i guess i can't rush it,
which is the hard part.
i'm getting really excited about australia now... it's only
4 weeks away now. well, new zealand is 4 weeks away... and
then australia the week after that. i can't believe i'm
going to be going to school again... something i've been
avoiding for the last 2 years. oh well. i'm pretty sure
that's where God wants me... since that's what He's seemed
to work out up til now. i'm just waiting on my student
visa... which shoul hopefully arrive *soon*. anyway, i'm
excited to get away from here, from life as i know it, and
meet completely new people. people who want to know God
more too, which is cool. i want to discover new things. i
want to discover more of who i am. i want to discover God
in new ways and get to know Him more. and know more of the
Bible and things so i don't have to rely on other people for
my knowledge of the Bible and stuff. anyway, it makes sense
in my head. and i just like the idea that no one there is
going to know me, or have any preconceptions about me. i
can be who i am, and that is how they will know me. i won't
have to live up to any expectationg, bcuz i will be whoever
i am. i hope to build strong friendships, and really gain
some insight from God into who i am and what He wants from
me. i want to know God more and i want to be more honest
and open with myself and with everyone. really discover who
i am and ground myself in God so i am not such a chameleon
in my relationships with other people. anyway... enuff
rambling for today... maybe i'll write again soon. but then
again, maybe not.