bloated belly scurvy girl

weird little ticks
2002-05-20 05:20:04 (UTC)

Winning that blue ribbon.. bullshit!

To you ever ask yourself why you hang around neurotic
idiots?

I have and this question has been going on every 5 minutes
all day.

I hang around horse people who like to show and I have just
realized how selfish and petty they are. These crotchety
old women with no kids who obviously pride themselves on
their poor interalizing geldings, and these horse compete
at giant international shows and win by the way go into a
schooling show, sweep the high point, just because they kno
that they can win and it throws off everything eles for
someone like me who was really trying.

I hate fucking people like that, they compete big and then
go into a damn schooling show, for what? To let everyone
eles know that they can still kick butt... oh look at me,
see what your missing..

This is not everyone, but this does make me feel like I do
not want to communicate with other horse people anymore. I
just feel like shutting down. Which is weird beause I am an
A type personality.

In truth what I need to do is know my strenghts, know
myself and go with that, but I have this need to be
accepted and when I am not, it hurts.

I was once told by a friend that I worry too much.
Maybe it's me that keeps me from living, maybe if I just
went with it and said fuck everyone eles, I'll be better
off. I'm already starting not like alot of the people I
come into contact with anyway.

I'm not sure, I don't have the anser.. but maybe it'll
come to me.




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