? :: connie ::?

:: inside my mind ::
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2001-06-09 16:56:40 (UTC)

It's Me Again!


I'm back again. Still with my dearest PC and a cigarette. I
am wearing a green short night dress with some frogs
hopping here and every where around my body ... :o) Mom
looks so cute tonight with her "Winnie-The-Pooh" blue
pajamas :D

I'm trying to find funny stuff around me right now & hope
they can make me smile. No good programs on TV now :o( I
only watch TV once or twice a week for "The Simpsons" (Mon)
on RCTI and "Tuesday Drama" program on SCTV.

I remember what someone told Vivi about Indonesian girls.
He said that we are possesive ... We like to trap a man we
like & won't let him go. Am I one of them? Maybe yes, maybe

Maybe yes, as when I like someone I am very dedicated and
will give my all to him without leaving any single thing
for myself. Stupid, huh? Maybe not, because once he said he
doesn't want me anymore, I just will let him go and I won't
beg for anyone's love! I will be very happy to spend my
time with someone I like/love, but if he's not happy with
me, there's no use in keeping him coz if he's not happy
with me, I will feel worse.

I still miss him. I know he will read this diary once he
gets back home tmrw. But I don't write this to make him
have a pity on me or kinda stuff. I just write this to kill
my time & to express myself. I really need someone to talk
to right now & I can't find none.

I don't mind he or anyone who reads this diary knows what's
inside my mind. As I said before, I'm a very transparent
person & I have no problem whatsoever to reveal my true
color & identity. Don't you think it's tiring to pretend by
being someone else you're not? Some people do, but not me.
Take me or leave me :o) And I'm that straight. That's what
Danny & Vivi assumed that it's the main reason of all
my 'fiasco' in my relationships. But this is me: Connie.

Saturday, June 9, 2001. Still 38 days till I meet him. I
hope he's not afraid to meet me after reading this & will
still come here. I'm not that scary :o) But most of all I
hope he's not just to make me happy when he said that I'm still his
angel ... I hope I am, as I still need his wings as well ...
I keep repeating this sentence, hope he won't get sick of
it! :D

Till later,

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