Dreaming Of Everything
I just want to leave.
First off, I want to thank my friends Laura and Kristen for
the awesome notes they left me. I love you guys.
I need to ask your opinion on something. I really want to
go to St. Louis for the summer, like I did last summer, but
for a longer time. I'm having a lot of problems here at
home, and I know running away isn't the answer. If I leave
for a while, and be somewhere where I feel safe and at
peace with myself, then that's okay, right? I don't even
know who I am anymore. I feel like I'm trapped in this
little cage that I can't get out of and it's driving me
insane! I need SOMEONE, besides the people here who are
constantly beating me up (mentally) to just let me be me.
It seems like anything I do isn't good enough for anyone
anymore. Someone's always yelling at me or screaming at me
because I don't do something right, or I don't care. I
don't know what else to do, seriously.
So I really really really really need your help on this
one. I have a friend (one of my best friend) who lives in
St. Louis, so I would have a place to stay and a potential
job opportunity somewhere in the city. It would be away
from everything here and then I could just clear my mind
and come back with me. But on the down side of that, I
would have to ride the train, which is like 51 bucks, and I
only have 32 dollars to my name. I want to leave as soon as
possible (after finals..so like the 27th of May...day after
my birthday) and come back at the end of June in time to
catch the aunnual 4th of July get together in Iowa.
I just really need a place away from here to go and that's
the only place I can think of. Please help. I really really
really need your help.