Han's Journal
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2002-05-19 00:17:41 (UTC)

Random Thoughts

It's difficult being a Christian, because there are so
many rules to obey, and so many sacrifices that have to be
made. And because man is weak, he often falls into the
trap of sinning, and attempting to repent, and sinning

My Bible reading today took me to 1 John 5:3-5:
"This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his
commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God
overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome
the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the
world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the son of God."

Faith is supposed to be the buoy that keeps a Christian
afloat. But I find that I am often taken to doing things
by my own strength, and faltering - and losing faith. And
when I know the remedy is prayer, I reject it, and begin
to rely again on my own strength.

Take my Econ final for instance. Whining before an exam is
not something new to me - as far back as I can recall,
I've been whining about tests and exams ever since I began
taking them. In faith, I should have released everything
to the Lord, like I did *once*, but I seem to have lost
the power to do that. I think it's time to re-assess
myself, and re-work some undone stiches in my life.

Faith also means letting God take charge of every little
detail in your life. I haven't been doing that. Rather,
I've been rather self-propelled this far, making plans
that probably won't materialize if God doesn't intend for
them to happen - and attempting to take charge of my own
life. A couple of weeks ago I saw a poster on one of the
walls in Garming's house that said "God chuckles when men
make plans." I'm certain that's true, because God probably
knows that everything we plan for, and everything we think
is important is all foolishness. We live for the present,
to gratify our whims and fancies, and hardly think of the
eternal, which is what really matters.

That's why the verse today I read has so much meaning.
Jesus' died on the cross for the sin of the world. Because
he was a living sacrifice for our sins, he conquered sin
and death for us - "This is the victory that has overcome
the world, even our faith" (or lack of it.) Over the
summer, I think I'm going to seriously re-examine myself
and make some real changes.