No Matter How Hard I Try...
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2002-05-18 22:53:57 (UTC)

I dont know

I am really getting sick of things. I swear I'm going
insane. I don't want to be back where I was and I wont let
myself but almost everything in the world is pushing me
toward the edge. I can't wait to have a summer filled with
Tricia complaining and my mom home! Yeah, right! I can't
stand Tricia anymore. Normal people wake up in the morning
and dont sleep all day. I said one thing this morning and
she comes out of her room yelling at me. WTF! I know I'm
not perfect, but it's bad when I can't breathe right. Heck,
if I am sitting on my bed, in my room, with the door
closed, not saying a word I am still somehow on her nerves
or pissing her off. Don't ask how that's possible but
seriously, it is. I have dont it and she yelled at me. She
enjoys making me out to be a horrible slut so that people
like her more. She always cuts me down, and "puts me in my
place." My place being below the ants that dig to the core
of the Earth according to her. I can't stand my mom being
home and complaining. Always on the computer during my time
and always yelling at me for something. It gets rather old
after a while. But it still bothers me. My little sister,
lets not go there. She cuts me down pretty bad too. I know
I'm no prize, but I'm really not that horrible. If I clean
and try to help out (my mom alwyas says we never help) I
get yelled at told to "stay out of my mothers face for the
rest of the night" becasue I won't come out and say what I
want when in all actuality I want nothing but to stop
hearing her complain all the time. It's getting to the
point I feel worthless again. I know people care about me
and I know I mean something to many people but still.
*sigh* I guess I'll never do anything right. My mom always
says how I am the best child of all of us, my room is
always clean, I make great grades, I do most of what I am
told to do, but I get the most crap. I am the middle child
and get the crappy end of the stick and always stuck with
the most work and yelled at for Tricias, Colleens, Dads, my
friends, my, and every other persons mistakes. I guess I am
a human emotion toy and I am pretty interesting. Maybe they
could store me on a shelf and forget about me? Oh wait, I
won't get that lucky. I'm gunna leave. I'm not in a good
mood, but I still love all of my friends.