Ode to a psycho!HA!
2002-05-18 00:02:35 (UTC)


No body said I could feel this way. I have so many mixed
emotions I don't know what to think. I want to lie in a ball
on the floor and weep until all the life drains from my body
and I am asleep. or dead. I want to get up right now and
dance. dance my brains out kind of dancing, anything, moving,
constant, thrashing, spastic kind of dancing. I want to
smile. but the tears welding up in my eyes cloud my vision so
I cannpt see my face. I don't know what I look like. The
constant pounding in my head has gotten so loud I can't hear
MYSELF think, let alone anyone else. The deafening noise
makes me move so I begin to daze. I shake, constantly or rock
back and forth unconsiously until someone calls my attention.
At which point I stop. I stop. I feel so heavy. keeping
myself up is like supporting a million lead bricks. And I am
floating miles above everyones heads. i can see everything. I
can see everything. I am tired, and yet I am so awake if I
try to sleep I will not. I am so completely focused, and yet
my mind is never where is supposed to be. evrything is