OhBaby It Is Me

MY SO-CALLED LIFE
2002-05-17 23:33:42 (UTC)

Too Pissed to pick a Title

I'm am so pissed about so much today. 1st I want to
break up with my boyfriend b/c he flirts too much with the
person WHO IS SUPPOSE TO BY MY BEST FRIEND!! but I can't
b/c I already asked him to the senior ball and I can't
break it off now after he got his tux, so until June 8th I
guess I'm stuck, AND THEN My 'best friend' decided that
she didn't want my sister to be lonely, and she can over
here, picked her up, and right now they're at her house.
so screw her, I HATE the fact that she talks to my sister
and I know it might sound selfish but if you think of the #
of friends that I have, which is 2 including her, and you
look at how many friends my sister has, which I don't know
the #, but who do you think needs her? It just hate the
fact that if I'm not around that my friends talk and hang
out with her. I don't have my own friends, they all talk
to her and I HATE it so much that I'm just tempted to just
stop talking to people and not have any friends at all.
That way she has no way of stealing anyone away from me.
If you stop to think about it, the 2 friends I have, Shaun
and Chrissy, I met Shuan in 10th grade when we were in
English together and we were sorda friends then, and
Chrissy, well it's all about the tent, but I had 2 good
friends that I trusted with everything, I don't trust
people, I just pretend to trust them but don't tell them
any thing important that could ruin my life or anything.
So that leaves me with 2, and when I asked my mother if
Shaun could go to the mall with us a few weeks ago, Shuan
hung out with my sister the whole time and didn't even talk
to me. And just now, Chrissy came to my house, picked up
my sister and took her to her house. Now that seems REALLY
REALLY mean to me, so she can just go jump off. It's
stupid and mean to run off with my sister when I'm not
around. I don't care what anyone says nor what anyone
thinks, IT'S FUCKING MEAN, and for that reason, I'm not
gonna talk to her anymore, and if that's childish, or
stupid, well then LET IT BE. I just can't stand it and
people should know that and respect it. I've been thinking
about away to be able to dump my boyfriend. If I really
think about it, He's madly in love with Chrissy, therefor
if I break up with him Monday, he'll be going out with her
by Tuesday morning, therefor giving him a date for the ball
to which he can wear his tux, and that would leave me with
whomever I wished. If I really wanted to be nice, I'd go
with Shaun, but I know that he doesn't want to go and he
doesn't like me anymore so even me inviting him probably
wouldn't make him go so, that plan sounds really good right
now. Actually, Chrissy and Stephanie got home a few
minutes ago and they were all trying to make me play a game
but who wants to play a game with the person who stabbed
you in the back and the person they did it for? Well the
answer is not me and after I told Chrissy that I was pissed
off that she couldn't wait for me to come home before she
took Stephanie to 'see her room.' Maybe I wanted to see
her room too. It's not like it was going to disappear
before I got home. And it's not like it's 11 o'clock at
night actually right now it's like 7:22 and I got home 45
minutes ago, OMG I just spelled my own last name wrong, and
my clock is fast. So what does that say to you? Well I'm
going to think of better things like the hottest guy in
school who is not only hot, but he is in all honestness,
the sweetest guy that I have ever met. I'm not kidding
either. He sits in front of me in one of my classes and
I've never heard him say one mean thing about anyone. And
it's not the type of thing where I would drop my whole life
and run away with him. I'm not in love with the poor kid or
anything, he's just really good looking and he's really
nice, that's just all. His girlfriend is really pretty
too, nothing I could stand a chance against if that was the
case. a;lkdjfa;lsdkfja;lsdkfj That's what I feel like
right now. I feel like pond cum, but then again some
people might say I am, and I wouldn't disagree.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the End

It starts with
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all
fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time
when I tried

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

One thing I don't know why
Doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried it all
fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time
when I tried

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know

I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter