mental illness, yes it is real..

feelings - confused, hurt , somewhat lost......

Well, im not sure how i am feeling at moment. actually
kinda numb i think. Lisa told me last night that she was
late, and that she took a pregnancy test, and it came out
negative. I love lisa with all my heart, and I love kids ,
and I am sure that we would be able to get by if she were
pregnant, so why the worry ?? Probably cause I am 40 yrs
old, she is gonna be 42 this yr, and we are just gettin by
financially, (my BIGGEST worry). I want soo badly for
things to work for us, and for the most part, they are. I
need to find a job that will pay close to same as what i am
making now that is closer commute, I want for us to be able
to do more as a family. and that is very hard when I only
have thurs to spend in massachusetts. I took mike to movies
last night, had a real good time, not too sure exactly how
he felt, i think he enjoyed it as well. We went to taco
bell for dinner and saw a bald eagle chasing a red tailed
hawk, which was very kewl. Movie was ultimate X, about espn
x-games, kewl movie, but you will never catch me doin that
stuff, though i saw michael in ever part of the movie.
I dont know why I have to worry about everything, but I do.
I worry about my kids here in Ct, I worry bout Lisa's kids
& Lisa, all i seem to be doin is worrying about something.
Why does life have to be so complicated ?????
Well, I guess that is about it for now...

TTFN....