Dimitri

The Game
2001-06-08 19:40:18 (UTC)

Oh the terror....

who is in a relationship right now? lets see a show of
hands.... wow, so many.... ok, how many of you actually
believe that it will last? ok class.... look at the people
that now have their hands up..... these are idealists that
insist on deluding themselves.....

ok, so maybe that is harsh.... it is true though, nothing
is permanent.... in the long run no relationship is gonna
last and odds are it won't end well, then you have to ask
yourself.... was the time of happiness really worth the
aftermath?

wow.... i learned the answer to that question the hard
way..... NOOOOO!!!!!! it really isn't.... so....

yeah....

am i ever gonna do that again?

oh i think not.....

yesterday i got into a fight, well more of a spat, with my
best friend (who is also my ex if you haven't read the back
log).... a while ago she decided she wasn't going to treat
me any different than any other guy..... oh boy was she
lying

why did i get so mad? oh quite simple..... i'm terrified of
ever having a relationship with her and my being special in
any way is far too much of a similarity for my tastes.... i
don't want a relationship with anyone, but frankly i would
consider castration before i got with her again....

yeah i love her.... so what? that doesn't make me stupid,
not about this at least..... so her argument is that she
treats me differently because i love her and because we
have these rather intimate conversations.... ok, that makes
sense..... fine then..... i would rather give up the
conversations than put up with this crap, no matter how
much i would miss it.... i don't want to have to do that,
but i will.... at this point i'm out of other options, so
it is really up to her.... i will abandon her friendship if
i must.....

so how sad is it that in some ways i'm looking forward to
college starting.... so that she will leave....

oh i'm sure you are sitting there thinking what a coward i
am.... yeah, i am.... but that really is ok, i don't
care....

i'm too tired to continue playing The Game..... i shit you
not

so very tired....

Every day is another toss of the dice.

~~Fortis Exaequo Vita~~




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