dark_child

Meaningless Ramblings of Dark_Child
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2002-05-17 08:57:30 (UTC)

OMG, I'm in so much shit!

Current Music: 'Blurry' by Puddle Of Mudd

I got into a major arguement with my parents. They never
let me do anything. Words just can't express how much I
hate them. FUCK THIS. FUCK LIFE.

I've had another week added onto my grounding. I can't
remember the last time when I actually WASN'T grounded just
for disagreeing with them. They are so incredibly
overprotective. They make it so hard for me to have
friends, or even a life. I hate my life so much.....

I thought things were getting better, but I'm just as
depressed as always, if not even more. The depression
doesn't go away. Whenever I think that it has, it just
comes back twice as heavy and dark as before. It's like
having a terminal illness. I don't think it will ever go
away.

This song is really helping. The music seems to relieve the
pain, it's the only thing that helps me, apart from
writing. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to go on
like this. I would feel like such a failure if I did kill
myself, people would just hate me even more then. I'm at a
dead end. I don't know what to do now.

Nothing is going right at the moment. I need a break from
everything. Some time to sort myself out. That isn't going
to happen though.

I constantly think about death. It's like a big fucking
cloud that follows me everywhere. I'm such a fucking mess,
and so fucking lonely. I have nobody to talk to about any
of this. It keeps on building up and up. One day I'm
definately going to crack. That's the only thing I'm sure
of at the moment.

Sorry for depressing whoever's reading this.

If you know how I feel then PLEASE give me some feedback. I
think it's safe to say that I'll be on here for the rest of
the night.

Bye Bye
~~~~~~~


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