Fazzn

Sweeet... nawww...

Well the past week hasnt been the most enjoyable week that
i've had in ages... When things finnally seeems to be
getting better... Something else comes and destroys all
hope that you've finnally started to realize that
everything will be better.

Like i believe i mentionned in my previous entry. I've
got to move away soon... in approximately 2 months. But
before then i neeed to find a job that will permit me to
own an appartment on my own. Why, cause i'm damned tired of
living with roomates... It's just not the same... When you
live alone... Your allowed to fo whatever you want,
whenever you want.... Your just freeee.... What a
wonderful feeeling... but.... That feeling costs money...
and that's one thing that aint flowing regulalry in my bank
account.. *sigh*

Between me and Roxanne.... Nothing has yet happened... I
decided to let her call me... but... after about a weeek
withouth a call... I gave up.. and i called her... We
talked a bit... and... she told me she was gonna try to
call me this weeekend.... Now... I'm almost sure she
wont... but... I can hope... that's all i got left.... I
really like this girl... she is sweeeet and soo what i've
beeen looking for. I hope everything will work out...

Friends..... What a sad subject.... My best friend got
a baby about a year ago... and... that changed our
relationship.... We like almost never talk now... She calls
here, because i live with her sister. And she just asks to
talk to either her sister or her sisters boyfriend... never
to me.... And when i do talk to her.... and tell her to
keeep what i tell to herself..... i get nailed a few days
later cause she blabbed out to someone and my roomates
found out and... i get the... WTF did you tell her this...
WHAT happens in our appartment stays in our appartment....
Well i'm just sick of all this....

At this point i dont have lots of friends, most of my
friends, either moved out to a different city, or... got a
long relationship with their girlfriends that doesnt give
them any time to hang out anymore... *sigh*

Also i lost a friend of mine lately... Christy... If
you read this.... I got to tell you that i never sent you
any messages while you where offline... You've warned me
enough time already about doing that... that i wouldnt do
it... Only way i seee that your mother knew about this is
that someone told her... either your bro or something like
that.... Ohhh well... it's nooo biggy now... Guess your
mother seees me as a treat to you, i dont really know
why... but... i understand... I am a bit older... and...
parents usually dont like that... But it's life... I'll
live throught it.. and i'm sure you will... Just dont
forget Christy... that your a VERY nice person and that i
wish you all the best in your futur endeavours....

I've started to workout again... Well it aint much, just
push up's, sit up's and some jogging... But i wanna shed a
few pounds... Maybe this is what i neeed... I have doubts
about myself now... How do girls seee me... ???? I dont
know.... I wish i could say that i'm not that bad
loooking... But...funny thing is that when i loook in the
mirror i like what i seeee... but as sooon as i seee myself
in a picture.... I.... dont recognize that person.... :(
So maybe by getting healthier i'll regain some confidence
in myself....

I dont really know what else to write... soo.. i'll leave
you with this... And pray for me, that everything works out
fine between me and Roxanne... I really dont want to misss
this opportunity...

Marco