i_bleed_life

The mediocrity that is me
2002-05-16 06:19:24 (UTC)

the yearbook message i should have written

Dear Pierce,
Well, high school is finally over. I almost can't believe
it. It's been an...interesting four years, a lot of bad
memories, but also a few really good memories mixed in
there. Anyway, do you wanna hear something kind of crazy?
Our relationship is totally reflected in the messages
you've written in my yearbook over these four
years...strange how I remember that kind of stuff. Freshman
year, you signed my yearbook "Pierce from Biology" because
we never talked all year long. I bet you thought I wouldn't
know who you were, but I knew who you were.

Sophmore year came around, and we became friends. Not close
friends or anything, but friends, mostly because of our
mutual dislike for our English teacher. That year, I have
this hilarious message in my yearbook saying you wished
she'd go sit on a pointy object or something to that
effect. It cracked me up like no other.

Anyway, by the time junior year was over, we had become
closer friends, with the help of AP history, and all of our
study sessions, both at the school, and at friends' houses.
God, you are such an awesome person. I don't think anyone
makes me laugh the way you do. I loved how we could always
talk about the most random stuff, and it would always seem
so interesting and fun and hilarious and important.

And then I made you take my yearbook home to sign in (in
true, typical teenage girl fashion), and I got back this
page-long message. And I know that I'm prone to
exaggerating things, but that was honestly the most amazing
thing I've ever received. Ever. I honestly cried when I
read it. You said the most amazing things about me in
there; it made me feel as if just being me was enough. I
felt so loved....I don't know if you can even begin
understand what that did for me.

And now it's senior year. Like always, I have managed to
totally fuck up what could have been, at the least, a great
friendship. And I do remember the Reel Big Fish concert.
And I remember being a complete jerk. And I know you'll
never really forgive me, but I also never really
apologized. But a year is too long for me to pretend none
of this ever happened, because you know it happend, and I
know it happened, and it's only making things worse that I
constantly think about it, and simultaniously pretend it
doesn't exsist. I'm sorry, Pierce. I'm so sorry for ruining
what friendship we had, and the friendship we could have
had. I try to live my life so I have no regrets, but I
crashed and burned in this case. I regret that more than
anythying. You are fantastic, hilarious, caring,
intelligent, and so, so much more. I wish you only the best
in the future, and you deserve that and more. You are one
of the wonderful people I have been lucky enough to meet in
these past four years, and even though I never showed it, I
do love you. Good luck with life, love, and everything.

Love always and forever,


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