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2002-05-16 02:50:59 (UTC)

i will never see the sky the same way...

...and i will learn to say goodbye to yesterday.

yeah. what a day. im so tired. crazy stuf. last day of
school. we cried. and we went to the park. it was okay.
matt was looking at my prom pictures.. then he went out on
the dock so i gave him his book. he actually read it
all,right then. i was impressed. we talked for like an
hour then i left. hm. god i fucking miss him. it sucks.
it didnt give me the closure i wanted at all. i still cant
shake this feeling. it was so weird, talking to him,
gettig along ish.. but knowing at the same time that he
doesnt care. anyway. so i went to ashleys and we went to
ihop and caroline came over and i slept, god i felt like
shit this afternoon, really really bad.. then i woke up
and went to naomis and kevins and just came home. my
thoughts are all about him again. god i fucking want to
get away from it. well no i dont, i want to fucking be
with him, close to him, with him, for the rest of my life,
and since that is not reality, i need to fucking get away
from it. it'll be better i guess. now. i hate her so
much. i try not to, i try to stand away from it all and i
cant i just fucking despise her for whatever he sees in her
and i could just scream. im going to bed.