Sara

Life of a Ranger
2002-05-16 02:40:53 (UTC)

Damn

I went out last night with my friend Gregson...we went
first to a friend of ours house...then to a bar...then to
his frat's house...so much fun. But today was horrible.
I was in a horrible mood...everyone who came into work was
dumb as shit I swear to God! People don't know how to
read signs to find out where stuff is...they are very
rude...and to top it all off...they won't move when you
ask...I'm trying to carry this thing that is heavy as all
hell and they stand there like a fuckin deer caught in
headlights...and then make a crack about how workin there
is a good workout...all I want is for these people to get
the fuck outta my way!
And as if all that wasn't enough, this freakin Darcio
thing is driving me nuts! I mean fuck...is it really that
hard to decide. I guess for me it's hard b/c I know what
I want..him...and it kills me to know that he's not sure
if he wants me...I mean I know he does want me...but that
he's not sure who he wants more...sigh. And he's
there...and she's there...and I'm not...and I don't know
what's going on...and I don't know when he's coming
back...and so I'm sitting here knowing nothing, being
provided with nothing, and feeling like I'm drifting
farther and farther from what I want...and I have
absolutely no control...but I still feel in my heart he's
the one for me...and not just the one now...I mean he's
THE ONE. That's heavy...especially since I'm just 20, as
of 6 days ago...to know that I want him for the rest of my
life...and I feel it...like I know it's meant to be...I
can't explain it...for the life of me...it's just this
feeling deep inside. Oh well...I can't explain it so I
won't try. Everything is going to be fine...as long as
that feeling doesn't leave me all of a sudden...then I
have something to hold on to...just like in City of
Angels...in the library when he takes her hand and
says "what am I doing?" adn she's says "touching my
hand"..."How do you know?" and those magical words,"I can
feel it"...and all he says is..."you should trust that".
That's all I need right now...I feel it...stronger than
anything I've ever felt in my life..and I'm trusting it
and praying it won't let me down. So if ya'll could trust
in it too...and pray for it also...religious or not do me
this favor...and hopefully in the near future...I'll be
telling ya'll it worked out just like I'd hoped. Thanks
and g'nite!




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