camicazy

orange light

'a little cold today...'

that's what she whispered before she stepped out of the
lift. the sun's up but it is cold. i shiver each time i
think of it.

i'm sorry. am i sad?...yeah...i am...

i love the cold but not this cold. i love the icy feeling
that the wind leaves on my skin when it blows past me. i
love seeing the steam come out each time i exhale. but i
don't love this thing i feel...this gnawing in my heart and
mind.

E: you sound mad... =(
N: i'm anything but mad.
E: i'm just afraid...
N: don't be.

'people with dark eyes are more introverted...yeah it makes
more sense...'

that's what she said while having a bottle of james boag's.
i recalled the day that i met a guy with the darkest eyes
i've ever seen. his gaze was casual and yet very intense.
his eyes were fringed with the darkest lashes. i felt my
breath leave me.

i was told that i have dark eyes. dark windows to my soul.
a reflection of my mind...my heart.

'i hope you know CPR...you take my breath away...'

on his back. dark soul.

'i just want life to be like this at this very moment...'

i can't help but think about macbeth. think only of today,
of this moment and think not of what tomorrow will bring.

'but, you're not screwed up. you're pretty stable.'

a bottle of james boag's. she was sad too...decided to
resist the urge to buy another bottle.

it was raining. it was cold. my heart twisted in my chest.

'this is what life is...'

that's what i said quietly in the dark orange room. she
nodded, whispered, 'yeah...'

later that night, 'sad lives for sad people.'

i closed my eyes.