My life
2002-05-15 23:27:29 (UTC)

Trying to Focus On Exams, but thinking about The EX!

well im doing a lto better now, im not thinking about the
whole brant situation as much i have my mind focus on
EXAMS!! haha! go me ive gone to the libary everday this
week!!! haha, neways, dont get me wrong, i do think aobut
brant all the time, but im not as upset, only if it hink
about him and alex going out. uhh i hope that that dosent
happen! ill just die right there! i dont think she is bc
will is talking aobut how he dosetn want her too....and seh
likes will like a lot!! neways, schools almost out! im soo
happy!! anways, i really want a boyfriend this summer! id
ont know hwho though but someone to go out w/ other that
matt or brant. actually i would LOVE it to be brant but i
dont think thats going to happen!! omg 20 days till my
birthday!!!!!!!! im so happy, u know what i would luv for
my birthday, for a guy, a specail hot guy to ask me out,
someone i like a lot and could fall for! but who? uhh i
hate finding someone to have a realtionship w/! ive been
talking to krueger lately, krueger is my ex who i took for
granted, i was so obsessed w/ having a boyfriend krueger
was the next best thing! other than brant, i know that that
sounds completly wrong, but its how i felt at the time, i
wanted to fall in love with someone other than brant soo
bad and krueger just seemed liek the perfect person for
that, well he feel for me but i didnt fall for him, i just
thought i did, i was in love w/ being in love. does that
make any since at all?? probably not since it came from my
mind, but it makes since to me. well neways, lately ive
been thinking about him and if i woudl want to give it
another chance, if he would want to, if it would work
between us, if we would work out for a long time are just
break up quick like we did. Like lately ive found myself
listening to our songs, (uve got it bad and say it) and i
think about this one time we were sk8n to say it and we
were talking and he like had his arms around me and looked
me in the eyes and was like "i lvoe you" and i got chills
down my body bc i knew that he meant it. but i didnt say it
back i just said aww....bc i knew that i didnt, then i
broke up w/ him like a week l8er bc its not fair to him if
im going out w/ him and i dont love him and i say i
do.....uhh i screwed up there! haha! thats just like
me..neways....well i ggl uv you!

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