Damsel in Distress

LONELINESS

i have been really lonely lately. i guess it pisses me off
that it seems like hardly anyone cares about me. i know a
few people do, but im scared. i hate pushing away from
people, especially when i know that they are good people. i
guess i am afraid to be in a relationship of any kind. i
realized im pushing perla away today...i didnt want her to
hear the yelling going on in the background, so i told her
i had to go. anyway, i just dont know...if i am cut out to
have relationships with people. the parent-daughter thing
was a failure. the teacher-student thing was a failure, but
i did show teachers that i could do things my way and
succeed. i know i succeeded at school so far.

i do feel like a failure because my parents constantly
remind me that i dont have a job and that i dont really
attend the class im in. im only in one class...due to
medical reasons...but anyway...i feel horrible they treat
me like shit.

i have been dressing a lot more innocently. a lot of pink
satin panties and some blues, with knitted tees and khakis
pants...what has happened to me??? well, i still have the
spiked bracelets and i plan on wearing them again...its
just too freakin hot. tracy california...its at like 90
degrees already...someone kill this dessert town. lol.

scary we had an earthquake here...in gilroy. people really
freaked out because the hayward fault is right there.
experts said awhile ago...if the hayward fault has a quake
the city will be in ruins. the hayward fault hasnt had a
quake on it for over 200 years. its past due. we have a
mountain range between us and hayward, so i hope we will be
ok. allegedly we will feel it but no fatalities, but
hayward is supposed to be packed with them. ahhhhh lol.

anyway, getting depressed a bit im outie for now.
-damsel in distress