lindsay ann

go eat worms (or something)

haha ok so i had like this awesome day...we did nothing of
importance at school except for the chem test, but i even
came out of that with a good attitude. haha the best part
is that i know i failed. oh well. but we goofed off in
choir and got yelled at...i goofed off in missions club and
got yelled at...goofed off in spanish class and the guys
got yelled at while julie & i were cracking up. it was one
of those days where i was really glad just to be alive and
be goofing off and getting yelled at. i was sniffing in
the zest of life!!

and everything else has been going well, too...like i've
been running pretty regularly and i'm up to 17 miles a
week. haha my goal was to be to 30 by the end of may. hmm
well practice starts on monday, so we'll see. and YAY i'm
leaving for mexico on thursday, so we get free dress all
day and then we go eat at in n out after school and then we
drive to ensenada. yippee skippy. it's gonna be rad. my
first time out of the country. i'm a traveling virgin.
HAHA ok enough...

so anyway, all this stuff has been sooo muy bien &
stuff...and then i had this epiphany sometime tonight. my
friends aren't my friends. i mean DUH they're my friends,
i'm not saying "meeer meee mee, they aren't TRULY my
friends!"...but my friends are all busy being friends with
someone else lately. not in a bad way. haha does that make
sense? like tonight everyone was in pairs and i was like,
"what ze heck is ze maaambo?" um. something along those
lines. and it's great to be not "in the band" sometimes,
and it's freaking relaxing not to be getting the phone calls
about the fights or any emails from, well, ANYONE...haha.
but at the same time, as i was forming and figuring out this
feeling, i felt soooo weirdly isolated. especially since
i'm kinda "the cheese stands alone" of the family right
now, too...and here's the time that comes around every year
for the last few where i start acting weird and being
lonely and antisocial, thanks to a neat little buddy i call
accutane. actually it might not be that. it might be
SPRING!!!!!! (haha that was what ms. ramirez said when she
saw me & justin sitting next to each other. you'd have to
smoke crack to say it with that much excitement.)

so that's how i feel. goodnight, all.

I am solo
In this world of wet
And bitter is my temperament
I close the door to sentiment
And I relish all my youth
-kevin max smith