Ramblings of a Mom
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2002-05-15 03:20:37 (UTC)

A good friend....

Last Friday night I got a phone call from a good friend of
mine, and it seems that she is going through what I went
through 2 years ago with my now ex-husband. On that
Friday, he informed her that he had rented an apartment and
would be moving the next day, leaving her and their two
daughters behind. Mine was not nearly as decisive or
quick, but it still seems to remind me of all that I went
through with my failed marriage.
Maybe this is weird, but it's almost like, in some inane
way (although only at brief periods of time), that I am
going through my separation all over again. I love this
friend to death and totally understand and sympathize with
her position, we are kinda like 3 musketeers. There are 3
of us that ran (and still run)around together, and
currently there is me, who is divorced, a single mom, and
happily dating someone not seriously, and then there is a
VERY pregnant one who is single (the daddy is not stepping
up to the plate), and now the one that is married, with 2
daughters, and now very recently separated.
I totally feel her pain.....I still, even after 2 years,
have a hard time seeing my ex-husband with the woman that
he left me for or started seeing directly after our
separation (the jury is still out on that issue, lol), even
though it has been 2 years!!! On my end, the further
frustration is the lies that I am being fed by my ex, and
it's about our son even! I'm not sure if he is telling
these stories to cover for his current g/f and his lack of
involvement with his son, or if he really believes these
stories by now, I'm not sure.
Back to my g/f, I decided that it wouldn't hurt me, and
besides help her, to go back and start re-reading my books
about divorce and grief recovery....the first building
block seems to be denial. Well, personally, I think that
she is doing well with that one temporarily, she had the
locks changed on the house today and decided that she would
no longer ask for a kiss and a hug when she sees him. I
told the other musketeer (Tyees) yesterday that the hardest
part is that you would like to reconcile things, so you
will give anything that you can to make it work, so you
keep asking this person for opportunities, not knowing that
every time that they say no, you hurt even more. I've been
there, and my heart breaks for her....I love her, and hope
for the best.
You will probably be hearing from me rather consistently
during this time of crisis, for it gives me a creative
outlet that I desparately need. Thanks always, Carolyn.