Another day and once again i am the epitome of wasted
flesh. My job is sucking the life out of me ever so
slowly. I can no longer handle sitting for endless hours
infront of a computer screen. I go home and mentally i am
still typing...typing...typing. So, here i am pretending
to accomplish something though i am actually starting out
an electronic diary...i feel juveniel.
Last night was the first show at our house, it went well.
There were at least 150 people there, most likely more. I
couldn't believe it in the course of 5 hours, our house
became the scene hangout (or so we were told). Its the
only place left in buffalo to do basement shows at.
I feel pressured.
The house is great. I've never been happier in my life.
There is so much love in that house it's unbearable. I
love my housemates, the are the greatest people on earth.
It is so nice to go home and have 6 people around. its
Things with paul were better last night, he slept over at
least. I can't even describe how he makes me feel. just
having him next to me is enough to make me feel completely
content. he doesn't even have to say anything, just look
at me with his gorgeous eyes and i melt. He has me at his
every beck and call and i don't think he realizes it. I'm
afraid I may be getting too attached and that someday i
will become very hurt. I try and tell myself that i'm too
independant and there's no reason i should be allowing
myself a weakness by feeling so much for one person. I
can't help it though. He's going back home this weekend, i
feel silly saying this, but i'm going to miss him.
i'm pathetic - it'll only be two days.
yick-three more hours of work.