mental illness, yes it is real..

What should i do ??

I have a delema right now, should I join the continental
army and fight for the freedom of the colonies, or should i
continue as a faithful servant to the king ?? having
originally been from England, my loyalty is there, but now
living here I dont know what to do.. I want to be a Patriot
but..... when will the revolution end ? Could it be that
this battle was over before it began ?? I hear the fifes &
drums in the distance... I feel this may be a lost cause..
General Gates of the Continental Army has defected I think..
Redcoats are advancing quickly... I must go and take up
arms..