Nick's Journal
2002-05-14 23:38:45 (UTC)


So here i am in the summer and i'm working for a law
firm. well......."working" it's not like i'm defending
murderers or rapists (you have to turn in your soul at the
end of the Bar Exam to do that), but i'm lugging around
boxes/desks/dead hookers/etc. and you know what? i really
love it. i really do. i don't mind the labor. but.i'm
watching the lawyers i work with (excuse me....for) and i
don't think they're that damn happy. or let me put it this
way. i have a very large selection to view. i have
the "fresh out of law school" 25 yr. old (or maybe he's
26) and i have the established 60 yr. old corporate lawyer.
the difference between the two is remarkable.
first. the old guy seems to love it. he's laid back as
shit, and he knows he can win. i know he makes a lot of
money cos my dad knows him and i've been to his place a
couple of times. seriously, this guy has it made. and he
seems to enjoy life. good? great! that would be me!!!
but wait.....
the young dude. he's fucking miserable. i mean i don't
mean printer jam miserable i mean smear yourself in grease
and execute all other employees miserable. the other
lawyers treat him like their shit bucket. like for
example, i had to move this desk and it was to heavy so
they were like "oh chris will help you", now i'm not a
sage as to how office politics go but i believe that two
individuals with mroe or less the same position should
have the same dignity/respect disregarding age. but no.
he gets used for that.....and i could tell he was pissed.
his office is tiny with no windows, he's the only one that
doesn't have one. let me sum it up for you. his life is
engulfed in shit. he eats it, he breathes it, he walks in
it, he works in it, he works for it, he works with it.
shit shit shit. his life sucks. i looked in that guy's
eyes and there was a pile of shit. i saw him go out for
lunch. he ate his shit alone.
you go to the next rung on the ladder. the middle aged
lawyers. they make ole chris eat shit cos they're so tired
of chewing their own shit. and the old ass lawyer makes
them eat shit because what? you think he worked his ass
off to get up there and NOT make people eat shit? yeah.
so they sit in their offices and try to make the slightest
mediocre disturbance outside of their work span their
day. meaning, anything that happens outside of their dull
and over worked lifestyle (example, no coffee) is drawn
out so that they don't have to return. shit, today there
was no coffee and i was like "ill run to the store and
grab some" and 3 of those lawyers were like "no, no, we'd
looooove to go, we know what kind and blah blah blah",
they want out. but where to? it's as if the all too
painfully direct and specific path of law school has led
them into a winding maze that they have trapped themselves
in. better yet. a maze with quicksand in it. the harder
they try think about getting out (cos where are they going
to go? work at food lion?.......yeah right), so they just
plummet further in, into their depression. so they smile
and eat their shit at the same time.
maybe they'll get the happiness. maybe they'll become so
comfortable with their dizzying maze that they'll come to
terms with it and call it their home. who knows. i just
don't know if i want to go through all of that shit to
come out with that as my "reward".

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