camicazy

Meshed Up
2002-05-14 07:41:23 (UTC)

life

i just saw the sun set. i saw it disappear below the
clouds. i can still see its light, its radiant pinkish red
light.

such beauty in such an ugly world.

the light is disappearing. bye for now sun...see you again
tomorrow.

sometimes i wish i could be like the sun. to shine on the
world, and whenever i get tired, i can just move on and
shine on a different place. but i will come back for this
part of the world ... just to put light in every corner and
every path.

god is like the sun. but sometimes, we treat him as if he
is only the moon.

but darkness is beautiful, just as the moon is beautiful.

i see orange light peeking out from the dark violet clouds.
it is the remaining light of the sun. while it grows dark
here, in another part of the world, it grows brighter.

looking at the sky never fails to turn my heart over. each
time i want to smile, i want to cry, i want to feel things
that i don't feel.

i can feel my heart beating against my chest. i am aware of
the blood that flows through my veins. i can see lights and
cars, and people walking back. this is the world. this is
what life is.

up here on the 7th floor, you get a bird's eye view of life
down below. matang lawin. hawk eye. bird's eye. everything
seems so small, everything seems so trivial. but are they
really?

darkness is slowly covering the city. lights are coming on.
it's a cloudy night.

i can't explain the way i feel each time this time of the
day comes about. i feel alive. i feel like i'm reborn.
perhaps, that's why i want to laugh...and yet i want to
cry. is it a good thing to be reborn? is it a good thing to
continue living wherein living is nothing and yet it's
everything?

black and yellow sky. i saw a cartoon yesterday. a guy was
lying in bed and he said, 'i wanna go home.'

a girl in the room said, 'but this is your home. these are
your slippers on the floor, this is your room. that is your
bed, this is your house. those are your people walking on
the streets, this is your city. this is your home.'

the scene changed. the girl has gone. the man was in bed,
on his side, covered up with his blanket, his eyes closed.
his voice came, 'i wanna go home...'

yes. i wanna go home.