Tainted

Disillusioned
2002-05-13 21:23:15 (UTC)

'Indians get me drunk'

couple of weeks back ella invited us all to puneets
surprise party at guernell swimming pool (everyones first
thoughts were 'SHIT I HAVE TO WEAR A SWIMMING COSTUME, TO
HELL WITH THAT, I AINT COMING'
but no- it just meant, free alcohol, free food, and more
free alcohol.
woaaaaah, the drink was quite amazing, shots in india are
like the size of a glass of wine, fuckin amazing......i
want to live in india!!!!
well anyhoo the evening went on, and puneet turned up
surprised (it twas a surprise party-what do u expect). it
was all very sereal- but it was different, and we like
different.
erm....this is the bad part of the evening (i try and
reassure myself) 'it gets better honest'........
i think i made a bit of a cock up on the jake front. he
seems a decent enough bloke, i had a chat with him bout
chris and other stuff (slurring) and he seemed quite safe.
he's really chatty- which is odd coz i thought he was a bit
of a moody cunt. anyway, he was another one who pointed out
that chris had been following me around and was more than
interested.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH NOT THIS FECKING
AGAIN!!!!

i dont, whether it was alcohol or it was just the whole
mood of the evening, but i thought what the fuck (along
with everyone cheering me on) i thought fuck it- nothing to
go, why not?

we had long awkward discussions ending in me saying
'u gonna reject me again'
***shrug*****(shyly)
'so what happened if i kissed u?'

TA-DAH!!!
it was pretty horrific, he was lean and he hadnt shaved-
eurgh! it was a bit of a let down to be honest. but i felt
content.

its weird- we're such good friends i dont want to spoil
anything. on friday 10th may he started going out. i felt a
bit hassled into it. its not that i dont like him. the
opposite. i could love him. but i want this to be me and
him. not me, him, janita, polly, puneet etc.....
every other person ive been out with ive always wanted to
tell everyone about him. i realise now how much of a trophy
boyfriend mike was. and we all know how that ended...
its not that i dont want to tell all my friends every gory
last detail, i just realise that he's their friend as well,
i dont want to put him in akward position. im a bit worried
bout janita as well. i know she used to 'find something
about him really attractive'. she still flirts with him
like crazy, i know chris would never let anything happen,
but still.....
thats what attratced me to mike i spose, no one knew him,
and i could therefore keep it between me and him what went
on (until the attack of the tina occured)
so i guess at the moment im gonna be how i am until i feel
more secure bout it, its happened so quickly, maybe i just
need to sit down and take a breather. he's in wales for the
week, to be honest im missing him like crazy, but yet
again, i havent said this to nayone, i cant be done with
the 'ohhhhhhhhhhhs' and the 'ahhhhhhhhhhhhs'

we had our play on the 7th which went according to plan,
appart from the appearence of Paul with Juiliet (eurgh)
apparently i can't hold a grudge forever, but im doing quite
nicely,i think.

im gonna book my ticket for Reading pretty soon- should be
cool, be back on the drugs by then, some serious pot
smokings gonna go down :)




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