Jewels

me
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2001-06-06 21:15:16 (UTC)

Day by day......

Well it was way to hot today,in the 90s god i hate this
oppresive heat..I had the day off yippie,was busy ,actually
got me some clothes that fit being i have lost weight,i
feel good about it,just hope the stress doesn't cause
anymore loss. I have my group meeting tomorrow and have
not much to tell them as I give the man i love space to
come to grips whit what is going on inside his heart and
soul.Still praying daily,anyplace anytime.The kids have
been happy and playing all day,i hope when this ends they
are not damaged any way.He says they will befine i know
better i know lots of people that have come from divorce
families and the pain the feel into there adult years is so
painful.Hubby believes he is unhappy and refuses to speak
to anyone,leaving me with it all....I do have good friends
who are there to do the only thing they can and that is
listen.Just to let me vent makes me feel so so much better.
I have work tomorrow,bought new uniforms that fit tired
of wearing the old ones that are so big on me and tired of
everyone telling me how much waieght i am loseing.I am
eating and sleeping good and i believe i am holding on
considering the stress i am being put through.I pray that
soon he decideds one way or the other what the future will
hold for our family.I want closure ,but till then i try
like hell to go on...I cry now and then,with that lovely
pms week soon due i am sure the tears are going to start up
again,or the anger will flare up.god only knows.
Well thats that for today so far he is not home yet and
god knows where he is and who he is with i still wonder
deep down if there is someone,if there is to me there is no
fixing anything it is over and i will move fast on that
one.Wish i knew for sure.
until later


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