ow_p

ow_p
2002-05-12 20:31:59 (UTC)

me

I am a girl who born on this earth. I have one younger sister. I love to
have a big family like old Thai tradition family, and I have it. Our area
has 3 houses and between that 3 homes have the big area, so I always
surround by the environment. I love the nature and big area. It makes
me feel comfortable. When I was young, I played around the area. I
know for adults it look stupid, but in that time I was so young and it was
my happiness. They time is past, my grandfather died, my uncle came
up with the idea to make the garage and gave the area for people to
rent for park their car, half of the area it use to be trees and pond
change to be the stone floor. The fish, insect, and all trees gone, it was
so sad for me. It make me know that our house is changing and I afraid
in that change to come to us. I wish I can do anything about it, but I
cannot. Not for a long time I get use to it, I just walk around where I
can play. I know I grow up and I am not going to have a lot of time to
still playing like a little kid anymore. My time is all up to study. I have to
go out for the tutor. I have to put more time for study, do all my
homework, and projects. I do not even have time to go to visit mother
of my father anymore. We were always going there every weekend.
That makes me feel even guiltier that I do not have time. It makes me
think that what is going to happen when I am older. But I know I have
to study for myself. So now my life up to study, I know at first I was the
worst person on this earth. I know I study better that I did but I did not
do it. It was just because I do not want someone to tell me what to do
and I did not see how important to study for. But I am change; my mom
is the one who change me. It began with, I got grade D in English when
I was in 4th grade. That was make my mom upset about me. I did not
study but I did not get any D before. I was not care about it but I was
scare my father because I hate when he try to make cold war. I was
even trying not to see his face for a week. Then I find out that he did
not really mad at me too much because my mom came up with the
plan. She tutors my sister and me (I think my mom want me to feel
good so she tutor my sister also, so I have friend) on the summer time.
When the school starts I feel that I getting better then people in class.
Then I change my whole from that point. I am paying more attention in
class, and I got my first result. I am the 6th of my class. It made me
feel so good that I never feel before. Later year, I got change class to
the class1 that I never been before (I was always in class 3,4 and 5). I
was trying hard but it looked like it was not enough to get better over
rank there. I was so sad that I get the 54th of 56 people in class. I had
talk to my mom and my mom told me that I have to study harder if I
want to get better grade, and I did. Next test I got the 42nd I made me
so happy and it taught me a lot. I know that how I get to this point now
is my mom. She always has the way to make me do what she really
think it good to me. I do not know how she does it but it really the best
way for me. She changes my thought about English. I hated English;
because I cannot did well in it. She found the tutor for my sister and
me, I was still did not like it. Then she found the place to teach English,
my sister was really want to go there so my mom made me. We went
to and test our English which class it would be. I think it was our luck
too that we met miss Goy. That part makes me feel more comfortable
in it. I was getting and did not hate it anymore, but not love it. Now I
am an exchange student. I did not think about this exchange student
program before. I thought that was stupid, but it did not. This all began
with my mom too. She asked me about AFS program that they were
going to had test for it and she think I should try. I did not feel like I
want to but I did it for my mom. I went to take the writing and reading
test. I did not know what came up to me. I did not want to fall. I did not
want to be loser. I was wishing to pass that test. And I did it, so I have
to go to the interview test by choose the country, which one I want to
go and they will put me in the class. The day of test was coming again.
I had chose to go to Holland. The first step in that room, I know I am
not going to get it. People in that class are better than me. After that
test I went back to home and told my mom that I am not getting it, and
I told her that now I want to be exchange student. I think I did that
because I was angry with myself that stupid. My mom found another
exchange student program for me. It is FTW, so I went to the FTW
office to try it. I ask some of my friend that wants to try it go with me.
And I got it with nalin at first, so nalin becomes my close friend at that
time. After I pass it I was so happy, I know I am going to America. I ask
my mom to be exchange student and the answer is “yes.” I did not
know time that my father did not want me to. But after then he change
his mind, I think because of his friend say that if he think he good
enough to teach me be a good one, he should be brave enough to send
me out from home. And I know my mom cheer that I can go, by that in
her heart did not want me to. I know a lot of people did not want me to
come here because afraid that I will not be safe and will not happy. I
know what they think and what they feel. But I chose to come so I did it.
By the truth at first I did not think anything about coming here. I just feel
like it just a normal day until the time I have to go on the plane to leave
them. I did not want to cry and did not think anyone will, but my
grandmother who I love like my own mom. She said good-bye to me
with the sound that I know she was crying. I know I could not hold
anything. I was cry because I begin feeling that I have to leave and I
make the person I love have to cry for me. It was my fault that makes
her cry. “It my fault to go there” I thought in that time. I went up to the
plan by myself and I had begun to think, “did I really want to go? Can I
go back? Why I have to be here? And what going happen?” I was scare
so bad. But the thing I know nothing can change it. I already decide to
go and I am not going back with out my success. It will disappoint me
so bad if I am not past trough this program. And now I know only a
period of time. I will be with them and have a happy time




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