still single

sick of all the sh*t
2001-06-06 07:44:48 (UTC)

who's Denis?...FEELING IRIE

Well Ijust smoked a couple bowls and joined a porn site for
3 days trial period for $1.95. Why did I do that...now that
have my credit card number and shit...So I watched it for a
bit and then masturbated with this red candle I have(I put
a condom on the candle first...)while still watching
it...Now I'm here writing again...still haven't much felt
like it but less so tonight. I was really strong at work
today...Didn't give 2 dog shits for penisbreath. He is
still very jealoous of my friendship to Edwin and he was
being a jerk at first...When I got to work he was an hour
late but he says to me "Why do you look so tired? Didn't
get much sleep or what?" I told him I didn't go to sleep
til 5 am whichh is true(I don't know why but I felt wired
last night....and I wasn't even tired today which is wierd
on 4 hrs sleep...)well he was a not nice and ignoring me
for a couple hours than he started being nicer...I had to
stay late because I got an app right before 7.So I didn't
leave til 7:25 and Denis stayed just walking around
drinking coffee. HE left right after I finished the app and
I got my stuff together and went to the elevator, pushed
the button and then Denis comes out from around the corner,
probably in the bathroom and ends up riding in the elevator
with me...not standing too close of course. I start walking
with him to his car and he's telling me that I should stay
doing what I'm doing since I'm getting so many apps as a
Loan Originator....but why would he want me to stay when
last week or so he was anxious to get me out...He is so
fucking wishy washy I swear.But I didn't even let anything
get to me today...I was energetic, upbeat, and bubbly...snd
I'm not even blonde...I had the "I am woman , hear me roar"
mindset determining my every movement. I wrked out and I
ate very good today except I had fries and a coke a little
while ago from Jack in the crack...shame on me...Pot will
be the obesity of me...so let me finish the Denis
story...well when we were walking to the vehicles he said
he just parked right up front...then I realizd I had parked
in a completely different parking structure the opposite
direction and told him that since I have been parking here
for a month I forgot so he offered to give me a lift over
there(no biggie...woulda done it for everyone.)Well when we
got to my car I hopped out and said see ya later with my
Gloria Gaynor attitude still in full affect but giddy as
usual. He drove away...And I didn't even have the urge to
cry or get sad...Itt's great but I still constantly worry
that it's gonna come back like it does...it comes and
goes...fine one minute,,,down in the dumps the next. What
can I do but enjoy it while it lasts and hope it lasts
longer and longer...I feel like I'm making no sense...It's
the cannabis I swear. Well I don't know what to do about
work...Should I stay at a much more kickback office doing
tlemarketing sales still or be less stressed and process
when they decide to train me and transfer me if they do...?
Shit, I don't know.Well I'm getting tired of typing and I
know Imust be boring as hell but this is my life dammit!!!!!
I just tell the truth...the cold haard
facts....ok...babbling again.goodnight




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