Meshed Up
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2002-05-11 08:55:39 (UTC)


finished macbeth today in a 10am - 3pm tute. i didn't feel
the length of the tute though. macbeth's pretty
interesting. one of my friends said macbeth's a pussy and a
dumbass. he is.

one thing that really struck me about macbeth is that the
book represents the world and most of the human race. like
macbeth, we all have our ambitions but we are not gutsy
enough to reach for those dreams. we always look for
something else to blame, and somebody else to point the
finger at simply because we live.

when macbeth was preparing to kill his king duncan, he even
looked to the bell as a sign that he must commit the
murder. the thing is, what does the bell have anything to
do with his doing the crime? nothing. and yet he believed
that it was a sign that he must do it.

some people started talking about what happened during the
night of duncan's murder. an old man said an owl killed a
proud falcon. ross said duncan's horses ate each other. our
great teacher described this conversation as 'rhetorical
bullshit' and went on to say that the bible is composed of
two things: wine and miracles. the wine comes first, and
then the miracles.

'i saw a dog,' said one of the disciples.

'a dog? i saw an 8-headed beast!' exclaimed another.

* * * * *

don't we all do that? exaggerate just to get people to
listen to us? we pretend to be people we are not just to
get people to notice us. we pretend to be depressed,
pretend to be strong, pretend to be happy, pretend to be
jealous, pretend to be everything. the world is full of

we talk about crazy things when we are intoxicated. music
is intoxicating. so is alcohol.

* * * * *

the porter of the kingdom of the macbeths said that alcohol
is an equivocator. it increases your sexual desire, but
decreases your ability to do it. so you are torn between
doing it or not. 'lechery is provocative,' one of my
friends said.

life is like alcohol. you want to do this, but you can't.
sometimes you get so intoxicated that you do rash things
and realize the consequences afterwards, which most often
leads to regret. macbeth wanted that intoxication. he
wanted his eye to wink at his hand. the hand must do what
it must whilst the eye looks away. he must kill duncan and
yet he doesn't want to see himself killing duncan.
afterwards the eye must look, see and applaud the deed.
macbeth wants to look and be happy. let the murder be the
be all and the end all. let it be. he didn't want to think
about the consequences until he was actually suffering
through the consequences itself.

* * * * *

did lady macbeth commit suicide? perhaps. malcolm said she
did. but malcolm most probably made that up just to portray
lady macbeth as a sinner.

she wanted the spirits to take over her and control her,
fill her with the direst cruelty and make her heart as hard
as stone. she couldn't kill duncan herself because he
looked like her father. was she weak? she can't kill the
people related to her even if she claimed that if she had a
baby, she would bash its brains out. i think it's all a

she is another representation of human beings. another
symbol of pretense. pretend to be this way for the sake of
macbeth, for the sake of somebody else. even if we are
uncertain, we pretend that we are certain. perhaps we can
convince ourselves that we really are certain just by
believing and being adamant that we are certain?

* * * * *

', fly, fly!' banquo cried out to his son
while he was being murdered. fleance ran. fleance flew.

the term 'fly' was used quite often in the book. it
reminded of what gandalf said in j.r.r. tolkein's 'lord of
the rings' when he was about to be pulled down by that

'fly you fools!'

* * * * *

so what is it with flying anyway? perhaps it's because
flying is impossible for people? no matter what we do, we
can't just jump out of a window and glide across the air to
the next city.

fly. is it a desperate way of saying run even though you
might not be able to make it?

p.o.d. sung 'i think i can fly...i, i feel so alive for the
very first time...'

must we do something that's impossible to actually feel the
life that runs through our veins? must we be close to death
for us to feel alive?

* * * * *

nought's had, all's spent
where our desire is got without content;
'tis safer to be that which we destroy,
than by destruction dwell in doubtful joy.

Lady Macbeth (Act 3 Scene 2)

* * * * *

we spend everything and yet get nothing in return. we get
what we desire but we are never contented. are we better
off dead? life is nothing. life is nothing but suffering
and never-ending desires. will we be happier if we lie
underneath the ground, sleeping forever?

macbeth has murdered sleep. duncan shall sleep forever.
lady macbeth begins to sleep walk.

* * * * *

macbeth sums up one thing about the world and how it works.
it paints a very clear picture of how power is claimed and
how people succeed. even if it was written a few centuries
ago, what it is saying is still applicable to the world

sovereignity by assassination.

that is how the world works. that is how life is.

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