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2001-06-06 01:49:21 (UTC)

dealing with guilt

i can't get beyond an overwhelming feeling that something
is wrong, that somewhere in the back of my mind is a
reminder, hiding from me, that i have done something
terribly wrong. cleansing, free start, Done in T - 2
days. make them good? something to remember? or fade
out? what is important to me? math or nature? what is my
inspiration? what attracts me? what is infinite? what
are MY values? what do I want? it's been too long since
that was my only consideration. it's been too long since
i've lived like this: comfortably trapped in my world of
indecision, emotion: the extremes of pain and love for life.

"But, if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and
love's pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover
your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing flour, into
the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of
your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears."

-k. gibran