2001-06-05 21:26:22 (UTC)

im a bitch...go figure

you said something nice, and i think i said something mean.
i dont know how to say im sorry. i dont know how to explain
my actions and i dont know when is a good time to talk about
them. i just do what i do and worry about the consequences
later...ok so friday night seemed like a good idea but now i
realize it was a mistake. it was something i had to do
something i needed to do to make up for all the times i
never had the oppurtunity. you said the sweetest thing and
you dont even realize...i could never tell you in any other
way...that what you said was true. but you know it, you're
not as niave as i once thought. you dont know what it was
like being me before...trapped in all of that. you dont
know, no one knows except for people who have been there
before. i admit i dont know how to deal with all my newfound
attention...and yes i realize its for all the wrong reasons.
im not that not blind to it all. i just feel like
using the power...but i realize there is no power in this
all. no one wins...maybe i just regret it cause i realize he
was all game...maybe i did get played. but you made me
realize i am worth more than a public display of
exhibtionism. you're becoming a good friend. i thank you.
you said something nice and i think i said something mean.