camicazy

Meshed Up
2002-05-09 06:14:37 (UTC)

day till 4

it's raining today. i have a small papercut on my right
hand. i have a needle poke on my right arm.

a great man said if dreams were maps, people will be able
to find my inner sanctum with ease. my sanctuary. where is
my favorite place to be? in front of this computer, typing,
staring at the sky.

precious are my moments of solitude. nobody is in the
apartment. i'm alone...listening to the juliana
theory. 'don't go...you said you wouldn't .. you said you
couldn't...'

am i unfathomable? your eyes can see through my soul.

don't go.

rain falls. psychoticunderbitch loves the rain. i've
learned to love the rain. i've learned to love a cloudy day.

when you're not feeling lonely, the world's not too much.

---

yes sometimes i laugh out of sheer irritation. i do not
care about social skills. and yes i do find her pretty but
her insides are rotten. thrown to the dogs. she is nothing
but trash. clever trash. still trash nonetheless.

that is why when i am with her, i laugh. because i can't
stand her. because i think she's ridiculous. because even
if she is at the top of the class, she is a phony. she
reminds me of my parents.

---

i finally gave the address of my site to this guy who has
been asking for it for some days already. he seemed to
absorb everything that was there...and then he came up to
me and said, 'candice i like your site.'

thanks man.

---

the world is an equivocator. we all are.