Saxqueen

When something's going well, I'll come along and f**k it up

Last week was brill! I cried when I left Cbay, which is a
sign it was amazing coz I didnt want to leave! I did have
problems with trying to spend time with my friends, and
work and revise and go out with my boyfriend and party, and
so something suffered. Mainly my revision. Which I am now
praying I had done, because I messed up my English exam
yesterday BIG TIME. Im just hoping I can scrape a grade
with my good coursework marks, and excell in the exam next
week. Me thinks I had better be doing some bloody hard
revising.
Anyway, back to last week (yes, alrite, I'll get revising
after I've written this!) it was cool, weather sucked for
the forst few days, but then was brill! No huge arguments.
A v. tiny one when I was exhuasted one night and Susie
thought I was ignoring her. But that was over before it
even started.
I won the talent competition! No surprise there though, I
win every year! (AGHHH, touch wood!) So Im going back for
finals again. And the accomadation Iv won I'll let my
friend Hannah stay in, hopefully she'll be out of the
eating disorders clinic by then.
My and Brendon were getting on really well, and everything
was amazing, but in my usual style I have gone and messed
things up. It was so naughty, and I cant believe I did it,
but it was the whole heat of the moment thing. Ok, let me
explain. Brens best mate Phil, who actually set me and
Brendon up had been transferred, and its his last night. He
had been drinking a bit, we were flirting (I actually
prefered him to Bren at the start, but when he set me and
Bren up, I guessed he didnt like me) and whilst were
talking he tells me that he really liked me, but didnt get
with me because Bren wanted me. I was gutted!! SO we were
really into deep conversation, and he was telling me that
although he liked my friend Vicky (she fancied the pants
off him!) she wasnt me. Somehow he talked me into going for
a walk with him, and we ended up snoggin up the cliff. I
felt so bad after, I couldn't believe I had cheated on
Bren, but I just got caught up in the emotions. He had a
leaving party that night, which I didnt actually go to, but
Vicky did, and the next day Vicky was telling me Phil was
all over her, telling her how much he liked her and
snogging her. I felt sooooooooooooooooo stupid for
believeing him. The only thing I can think to do is forget
it ever happend. If I tell Bren it will ruin us, and I dont
want a foolish drunken snog to do that. I was so stupid to
risk my relationship with Bren and my friendship with
Vicky! What was I thinking?! I'm just going to put it all
behind me now. God, someone smack me hard! (No sexual
reference there.)
If any of my friends are reading this, you'll understand
not to tell Bren, I was stupid and wrong and I know that.
Please!
Love you lots,
Saxqueenxxxx