Ode to a psycho!HA!
2002-05-08 22:20:51 (UTC)

I just read an old letter that..

I just read an old letter that brian sent me. My stomach
fluttered. It was one of those suvey things. i hardly ever
send them to him, but I guess I did once. one of the
questions was something like: Have we ever kissed, and If not
would you ever want to?? he wrote no we haven't but I would
Love to. I could just hear him saying it as if he were right
here. i NEED to go see him.OH MY GOD I NEED TO. but he never
calls. I call him, and he says he'll call back, but he
doesn't. I stopped calling.

No one ever calls.

I feel so alone. so alone. I feel like i'm reaching out in
every direction into the darkness, and finding no one there I
sit holding my knees rocking back and forth. Wishing that
someone would hug me, or rub my back and tell me that
everything's ok and that I'm going to get better. but no ones
there, and no one will, and I am by myself. again. No one
will talk with me, I can't just have a conversation with
someone, and I want to so horribly. Noone even knows. No one
even cares. I am sitting here all by myself. I have been
weeping since I left school. I am so drained. I can't even
pick up my head. I said it before and I will say i again.

i hurt, I'm numb, i ache, I need to be kissed, i need to be
comforted, I need to have sex, and i need YOU to look me in
the face and tell me exactly what you think of me, or it
won't ever be said.