Lost and Searching
2002-05-08 15:44:54 (UTC)


Last night I finally had a good dream and not a it something that hasn't happened for an
extreme long time.....Anyways the dreams goes, I am at a
wedding recption, and the guy of my latest infactuation is
there and looks all spiffy in his white tux jacket with his
black hair and his not sure why its a wedding
dance, but hell why anyways, lights are low, and
for once i think i look spiffy comes a slow song
and he asks me to dance....and my mother and sister show
up out of thin air, telling me this was a bad idea...which
is something that they have been telling me all along, i
know that nothing good will ever come to last long...Anyway
back to the dancing, I don't but I felt like I was drunk,
and light headed and all of that, from nerves I don't know
but from something...the next thing I know we were riding
in his new black Trailblazer, which I think is an awesome
vehicle and want to drive it...well anyways we were in the
trailblazer and making out, which was great, when he
stopped and started speaking along the lines of something
how he really liked me, and didn't want this to be just a
quickie in the moment...and like WHOA....there is actually
like a ten years age different.....and after he said
something like that, i jumped him(which is funny because I
am a FREAKING HORNY VIRGIN) then another time flash,
we are now somewhere I think his house but not really sure
where it is, but this is where i thought the nightmares had
ended but it wasn't, we were talking somewhere or something
and a little guy came up and started to bothering and
stalking me, which isn't out of the usual nightmare...but
heath stood in and took care of the problem,while he was
takng care of me, all i could think about was raping him
there and now, and i recall how i tried and he kept putting
me off, but later in the dream, he had the most romantic
setup, candle lights, fruit and all, at night and under the
stars...and right in the heat of the moment fucking alarm
went off and i lost it.........................