2001-06-05 02:37:55 (UTC)

Boys, love, HELL!!!!!

Sometimes I find it so hard to beleave that maybe one day I
might be able to be happy, to be able to have something I
want. The only guy who really ment something to me is so
close to leaving that I can't even start to begin to
beleave that he is. Sometimes I think that he did it on
purpose to hurt me, to make me feel so hurt inside I
couldn't breathe just because he has been in that situation
before. I always thought we had some sort of connection,
something between us, we were so happy when we were
together. I miss him, I miss him so much that I can't cry
about it anymore. James is someone who is just there
because I can't stand not being there. James is different
though, he is so cute because of the things he does. The
way he works, talks, even scraches his nose. I can't help
to think about him and smile, to think about being with him
and forgetting about CB. But that makes me feel guilty
because me and CB were ment to be together. I guess I will
get over him, sort of. Why do they call it love? It's more
like hell in my opinion.