My life
2002-05-07 20:07:39 (UTC)

soo much better

everything is a lot better!! i was thinking today about my
mom and how she lost a baby and i was thinking about brant
and how much he has turned into my brother (take away the
hookups haha) and i figured it out, brants my brother, he
is the baby that my mom lost 2 years before me! i mean
thats how i see it. and im chelcs twin sister that her mom
lost when chelsea was born. its all kind of weird but it
makes me feel really good.
anyways i talked to Danny for like 2 hours last night on
the fone and he helped me through a lot of things that ive
been keeping to myself lately about Brant, just about how i
feel or felt. and ive come to relize that there is no real
future there, just a great friendship!! and im going to
enjoy that, i got him this chain for his bday, its not till
October but i got it for him for Xmas and i didnt give it
to him, its been in my dads room so im going to get this
silver cleaner stuff and make it look good!! I hope that he
likes it,
anyways, alex is back at school!!!! Im so happy!! im
really confused on who are my true friends, like around
Christmas i couldnt figure who was a true friend or not, so
i changed them i have been changing them so much lately.
and ive figured it out finally....Alex is my best friend ,
Chelc is my sister, Marissa is my idenical twin who is my
best, Rachel is just my worst half, but i luv her so much.
and brants my brother along w/ matt! I dont know what i
would do without all of them. dont get me wrong i have so
many other friends at school. but they are the ppl that i
can talk to the most. i luv them.
but i dont know what im doing, i want to just do the
usual. go sk8n w/ marissa and see brant and danny. and alex
wants to go too. but lindsay wants us all to go to a movie,
and i HATE the movies!! unless you have a guy go w/ you,
and i fele so uncomfortable around all the people that are
going because i stopped hanging w/ them a lot a long time
ago..i dont know why, i just do.
anyways, 9 more days of school!!!!!!!! im soooooo happy!!
i get so annoyed w/ school. with all the "drama" haha!uhh
brants little girlfriend lauren is going to get her ASS
KICKED!! she broke up danny n Meaghan, and i may not like
them two 2gether but still danny deserves to be happy and
that girl just played w/ him like he was nothing, and
lauren had everythign 2 do with it..uhh i hope she hurts
brant so i can kill her!!! i told her that too..i wish he
would come over.
i wonder what all is going to happen this summer..brant
and lauren wont last, i want a boyfriend soo bad!!!! danny
told me that he is startign to like me again. i like him a
lot but i dotn want to have a relationship w/ him bc i know
i will hurt him bc no matter what i say or do im goign to
want Brant more than him. More than neone, i hate to admit
that but its true! i think about him and i feel soo upset,
but so happy, i wish him and lauren werent together, when
they started going out i wanted to kill myself. is that
even normal? i dont know! but i gotta go