I've always been this way.
After all these years of ups and downs, I've come to
realize that I haven't changed in the ways in which I've
proclaimed. My state of mind's just had many distractions
that have fogged my own perception of myself. Childhood
longing is still very present. Adolescent insecurities
still form roadblocks. Self destructive thoughts still
circulate on a regular basis. The thing is, is that I've
given up on pursuing or welcoming distractions that have
made me forget these flaws. Patience has taken me under its
wing. No longer do I ask or daydream about what is awaiting
"might as well live before you die"