The Art of Self-Destruction
2001-06-04 19:56:34 (UTC)


My hopes all lie shattered on the floor, and everyone
around me seems to walk on eggshells now a days. Seems they
don't want to break those little shards left lying by their
feet...It's a daily thing with me.

All I want is to feel normal. Be just like everyone else.
Funny I should say that now, considering all I've ever
tried to do was be differnt. Looks like once again I've
gotten what I asked for. Why can't I just learn to settle
for less?
Anywayz...Me and Bex had one of our freak lil personal
chats today. They're actually quite interesting. Normally
revolve around our home lives, and our screwed up minds.
Not that she deals with the same issues I've been "blessed"
with, but some similar shit has been thrown her way.

I got an award for shop too. Twenty-five bucks. Oh joy--I'm
estatic (note the sarcasim there). But hey, twently five I
didnt have before I guess. For most improved.
Somehow I feel like that's more of an insult than a
compliment. But that's just my normal reaction, and one
that tends to piss most everybody off.

Matt was acting like such a jerk to me in the morning. Just
being really sarcastic (Heaven forbid!). He realized I was
mad at him though and applogized, gave me a huge hug, kept
hitting on me, the usual.
Then started flirting with Ginny! I swear, this is where I
offically give up. Granted he's unaware of my feelings, if
he wanted me he wouldn't go and do that.
I need to shut up now. I've rejected him so many times in
the past how could I expect any differnt? I just hate this.
All most as much as I hate myself.

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