Janelle

Broken Dreams
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Ezoic
2002-05-07 00:09:24 (UTC)

messed up

I know this sounds so weird, but, I don't want school to
let out. I don't like being home because I can't stand all
of this fighting. Also, there's people at school you can
talk to. People who may be experiencing the same things you
are. There is one teacher who is just, horrible. He watches
my every move in the hall, and for several reasons, I hate
him. He was my band teacher last year, but I dropped out
just because of him. High school will be better though, I
hope. This summer might be okay, because there are some
really awesome people that live near me, and a pool nearby.
I like swimming, a lot. I can just reach down in my sould
and learn more about myself. It kind of puts me in a trans.
When Mom and Dad got divorced, I was reall confused. i was
almost happy, but at the sme time devistated. I knew my
whole life that it wouldn't work out. My Mom basically
tells me that she dilikes me because my Dad loves me so
much. I read something that she wrote in the divorce papers
by "accident", it said "...and my young daughter, Janelle,
is such a daddy's girl. I am afraid that in the future, she
will follow her older brothers footsteps and depend on her
dad more than anything. She shows no effection for me at
all, and I am hopeful that she doesn't turn out like her
father." My dad has got to be the best man alive, and I
would gladly turn out like him. He's a successful fireman
who loves his family very much. Mom always tells ME how
horrible he is. She practically said sho didn't want to
marry him in the first place, so why out me through all of
this. My family is not only screwed up, but My past is too,
when memories are supposed to be good. I guess I will have
to make a better future. Bye. ~janelle


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