simon_says

don't feel

i don't feel like doing anything. i graduated last week
and it was like it never happened. i guess i am in denial.
well i haven't really been all that up lately. i did enjoy
a small little vacation last week. me and pete had fun..
tons of walking all over every city we could find. it was
actually awesome. i just got back last night. i guess i
sort of wish i was there now. i've been sitting in front of
this computer screen because i don't feel like doing
anything else. i miss gus so much. it makes me feel so
unaware. like all my thoughts have just ceased and i am
again a zombie. i want to go and find him but i don't think
that is going to happen. i am too chicken to just take a
bus to eugene and look for him. shit i don't even know
where to begin. i don't even know if it is big there. for
all i know he could be gone already. man o man. i really
want to just take the bus to find him. but i guess i have
to face the fact that i am just a small little scared girl
who won't go because she doesn't know how to leave.