John

Quiesce

Funny how sometimes I have so many things to say
either to myself or to others, but when I sit down to try
and come up with a name for my diary I can't think of a
single word off of the top of my head. I hate it when I get
stuck not being able to think of something good or
meaningfull. But, I suppose everyone get's to be like
that at sometime or another. Well, I guess I should get
down to brass-tax and get to the point of the title of my
diary and what it means. Quiesce is a word that means
to be silent, as in a letter, to have no sound. I believe
this fits perfectly in everything that I want to write here on
a daily, weekly or whatever type basis. Writing words is
meant to be silent, and reading words is meant to be
silent. I believe that in reading someone elses
thoughts one may come accustomed to a sort of
comfort knowing that there are other thoughts in the
world that might be just as smart, crazy, or silent as
one's own. I'm not saying that thoughts should never
be shared or discussed, but certainly sometimes they
should be left at that......thoughts and only thoughts. I
won't lie, I think that me being able to write my thoughts
from a day to day basis and have others read them may
help in my manner of what I always like to
do....understand others and have them understand me
better. What kind of world have we created, one that
people are afraid to share thoughts and honesty
because they are scared of hurting anothers feelings in
a permenate basis past the point of recovery. Well hell,
if it were that harmefull to be honest with your thoughts
about something then I guess we should all stmap a
giant sticker that says "Don't trust me because I lie all of
the time" on our own forheads. Maybe I can see it in a
different manner someday. Well, for at least now I
guess I'll stop the intro and maybe write about my daily
life later today. maybe someone will read this and find
my entires to be aspiring. Maybe not. But hopefully no
matter what someone who reads this thinks.....I hope
that it causes some sort of true reaction whether it is
good, bad, or ugly. There is no such thing as a bad
feeling. And if my thoughts and feelings can change
someone or cause a reaction of some sort, even in
myself, then I will be siccesfull in what I am writing. It's
by no means a crusade to preach to others what I am
thinking. My thoughts are for myself first in order to be
put down somewhere for future reading and reflection,
but if someone else reads them and can offer insite or
be affected by them, then that's where a secondary
succes will come into play for me. Truly, if I did not
mean for others to be affected by my thoughts about my
life, I would not have made my diary public. As my
close and dear friend Juli and I say to eachother.....Until
then.

John