camicazy

Meshed Up
2002-05-05 14:35:04 (UTC)

killers

'Truth is looking at a beautiful woman...and breaking her
down.'

just finished watching 'kiss the girls' and i saw a killer
speak as if he was human. he loved his victims, he loved
his girls. he was casanova and he loved his girls like he
has never loved anybody in his life. he knew his girls in
the most intimate detail. he knew every body part, every
scent, every touch. he kept them alive for a while, killed
them because they were beautiful...

killers are inhuman humans. they have feelings but they do
not feel the pain and the horror of snuffing the light out
of somebody's soul. they do not cringe at the sight of
blood, nor do their hearts break when they listen to the
screams and pleas for mercy. they are inhuman.

they are inhuman and yet they are human. they cry, they
laugh, they love, they hate. they experience everything
that everyday people experience. but they have something
else in them...a fire...a burning that does not die until
somebody dies.

their eyes see a different world, a different light, a
different dark. right is wrong and wrong is right. fair is
foul and foul is fair.

it is this part of me that sometimes brings me down. i see
everybody as human...too human...that i feel sorry for them
and try to make things better for them. perhaps even if i
come face to face with a killer, just as long as i see him
or her crying, my heart will melt and ... well... i don't
know. crap. i think i'm naturally a softie. which sucks.
i'm such a wuss.

back to the killer thing.. fair is foul and foul is fair as
the witches of macbeth would say. and i thought about a
mirror image. is a mirror image the exact replica of you?
or is it the opposite of you? your right is its left, your
left is its right. but you look exactly alike.

is there a difference between right and wrong then? do they
live to balance each other out like the yinyang? do they
live in harmony with each other? or are right and wrong
just psychological states? written rules that men set down
to differentiate the good from the bad...if there is any
difference.

god set down the ten commandments and wrote what was right.
who sets the criteria for right and wrong? god does. then
that contradicts my idea that right and wrong are just one.

my mind isn't functioning properly right now. i've so much
ideas turning in my head but i can't piece them together
and put them down into words. even this entry feels weak at
the sides...my thoughts have deserted me. my ability to
think about and cut down such things have decreased i'm
afraid. i don't know. perhaps it's because i'm sleepy.
which is why i'm going to sleep now. ta.