Mist

4th June 2001

Everything with ME personally is ok today. I am pretty
worried about David though. He really isn't coping too well
with this whole Andy shit. Poor guy :( He is currently
passed out on the floor next to me. I am really worried
about him. He just found out that while he has been there
fully through Andy's heroin thing he has been seeing other
guys on the side and 'working' on them. He also found out
that he might have aids. He hasn't slept properly in weeks
and is taking way too much valium...
I don't know what else I can do for him...

I had a good talk with Kev this morning about the way he
sorts things out in his head. He gave me some tips on being
completely honest with myself and admitting everything to
myself so I am maybe going to start writing those things in
here. The one for today is how selfish I am. And this week
is fixing time. I will prolly take awhile to fix myself but
I hope he won't run away before I am happy with what I can
give him as me.

Now I am even confusing myself lol.
Oops.

I am going to go now.

'Days before you came,
Counting breaths inside me,
Even crack cocaine,
Couldn't start to hide me.

Won't you join me now?
Baby's looking torn and frayed,
Join the masquerade...
Join the masquerade...

Days before you came
It always seemed enticing
to be naked and profane
there is no denying
Days before you came
Thunderbolts and lightning
Each day a brand new vein
Each tourniquet colliding
Didn't want you anyway'