ThOuGhTs Of A LoTuS ChiLd
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2002-05-05 01:32:45 (UTC)

Is god playing a cruel joke on me?

well hey hey hey kids.i havent been up to much.lets see the
week went by super fast...i couldnt believe it.skool is
going shitty...actually its not skool its me..im ready to
break down ...i want summer to get here..only 23 more days
left.I get to go to the career center on the 8th for a
tour..woo hoo a day off of skool!..it should be fun.all
week ive been hanging with Adam,Joe,and Shane just sittin
around taking bong hits.Yesterday in skool i had to take an
algebra test..none of us knew what to do..and i
cried..lol..then i came home and got ready to go out..sarah
called to tell me Minnick has a crush on me..i broke down
laughing..it was the funniest thing ive ever heard.then i
went to the mall..saw the usual ppl..i got a fucking
smoking citation..i dont even smoke anymore..but i was
stressed so i bummed a cig and a cop gave me a citation.now
i have to go take a class on smoking.well i went with
Delawder up to Bobs...ran into Ginga and Alicia and talked
about manda and the rest of the assholes.then i went home.I
saw Jen thursday..we hung out at her apartment and went
grocery shopping..she told me Arykah was moving in by us
right down the street.then arykah wrote me on msn and now
im gonna help her paint the walls..i like hanging with
Arykah ..but shes still with Nash which means the assholes
will be around ...grr i hate that...why did Jeremy fuck
manda? why does he have to hang with those assholes?..hes
soooo beautiful.well i got up today and showered..my mom
went to the market and when she got back i helped her
unload topsoil and do laundry..then i went to adam's and
took bong hits.i came home around 6 and my mom made
dinner.then chad called and said he was stopping by.well it
was him,Gnome,and a bunch of guys they knew that i saw at
bobs the other night...one had curly hair and was very
attractive and one looked like Crackhead which scared me.i
think one of the guys from the group said i was hott when
they were leaving and another one agreed..i didnt see who
tho.oh well...
Im talking to Mike right now...we're arguing over me
being depressed and stuff...i kno he really cares..i can
tell..i just wish he would just flat out say how he feels.
well Friday is D-day...Burke comes home..im scared...i
kno sumthin will happen...i can feel it...a kiss,a
rekindling,a fight...sumthin..He's comming to see me as
soon as he gets in town..uniform and all...im the one he
wants to see most..he says hes really excited about
it..hope im not too much of a dissapointment..its been
awhile since ive seen him..but what if sumthin does
happen...i kno i still feel for him deep inside..and i know
i cant let him do what he did to me before..its too
painful..why is there so much drama in our lives?

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